What Really Matters in Life - First Things First
Principle – You can’t run if you don’t know how to walk.
I was one of those kids whose birthday was late enough in the summer that I could have started school a gear later. I graduated from high school at age 17. As most high school graduates, I was smart enough to tackle the world; there simply was not much I didn’t know. Of course I was wrong, but one does not find that out for at least a little while. My goal was very clear – I wanted to work for the Forest Service, just like my Dad and his Dad. I wanted to make a difference and be a real leader. So off to college I went to equip myself with the schooling I needed.
As many find out, all that learning in high school paid few dividends at college. As a freshman, I worked hard and did fair, but not great. I found myself distracted by this love bug that bit me hard and would not let go. I decided the only solution for me was to marry my high school sweetheart. So at the end of my freshman year, I was ready to rethink all my goals, abandon school, get married, and enter the trades.
Quig had another idea. With neither fanfare nor lecture, he quietly told me that he would provide $100 per month as an incentive for me to stay in college. This might not seem like much now, but in those days tuition was $110 per quarter, I was working on campus for $1.25 per hour, gasoline was 32 cents per gallon, and rent was $50 per month if I would mow the lawn and shovel the snow. The other reality in this offer was the accompanied sacrifice my parents would make – I was one of six children in the family. How could they possibly afford this?
The discussions that ensued were centered on the concept that you can’t become a leader in the Forest Service if you don’t have a college degree. Don’t give up on your goal to run – learn to walk first, running comes second. Sacrifice now so that you can have more when the time is right.
Audrey had been equally clear in her words. You can be anything you want to be. You have to get your priorities right. It won’t come automatically – you have to learn to walk before you can run. How many times did we hear this phrase around our home?
These messages were not delivered in rapid fire bursts in a short period of time. Rather they were delivered in calm discussions spread over several months – sometimes while traveling to a football or basketball game of my younger brother, or across the table at dinner, or while we worked together in the garden. There were also delivered over several years – though they struck me most and had the most meaning when I thought I needed to dropout of college and pursue a trade.
These lessons were still ringing in my ears when I contemplated going back to college for a PhD. With four children and what seemed to be a successful career in the Forest Service, I wanted to run even harder. So back to graduate school I went to see if I could still walk there. Quig was always available for a lift when I needed it. My family does not remember me in that year of intense graduate work as a soft, kind, and loving father. I have always suspected that it was my poor example during that year that resulted in only one of our children finishing college. I guess that there were some lessons Q&A taught that I failed to apply correctly in the initial fray. With hindsight I wish I had handled things better that year.
The lessons about learning to walk before you run came in more incarnations than education. Hunting was an important part of our culture in central Utah as I grew up. On one occasion I recall going deer hunting with Quig in the Clear Creek area. My brother and I were eager to trudge the mountains in search of the largest buck. Quig, in his unassuming way, said “you boys go ahead, I’m not feeling too well, and so I’ll just hang around here.”
As we spread out across the slope and up one ravine after another, we saw signs of deer but no bucks. Then a shot range out from the foothills near where we left Quig. We decided to circle back to see if there were bucks in that vicinity. As we approached the truck, Quig quietly asked “Will you two go drag that three point buck over here? He’s a bit heavy for me.” He had again managed to teach this lesson about learning to walk before we run.
Maybe it should be self evident that you need to master the simple before the complex. After all you can’t even sign up for calculus in college before you have completed the prerequisites of earlier math classes. Some economics courses even require math before you can sign up for them. These simpler skills, even though they may seem complex, in and of themselves, build on one another as your mastery level increases. The problem is we don’t always understand the prerequisites or even realize there are prerequisites for some things.
I had for many years believed that hard work and dedication to tasks was to be rewarded. Somehow bosses would recognize these traits and reward my efforts. I was surprised when my boss told me he wanted me to work less. I was just coming off the Interior Columbia Basin Ecosystem Management Project as the science team leader. As a group we had worked hard, long hours and accomplished what we believed was an important break through in understanding multiple scales in ecosystem disturbance processes. Why would my boss want me to slow down? I resisted and kept working 70 to 80 hour weeks. At every opportunity, Tom Mills would tell me the specific tasks he wanted me to focus on and to set aside the other work. Being a rather strong willed person, I pushed back and told Tom that I was working more than my required 40 hours and that I would select what projects to work on after my initial 40 hours.
Tom Mills and I went the rounds on several occasions. Finally, Tom revealed his rationale for demanding that I work less. He told me I was sick and getting sicker – I was a workaholic and needed treatment. Of course any self respecting workaholic would deny such an accusation – and I did. At some point Tom Mills talked with Kerry, my wife. She revealed my work habits, my hours, and my priorities. While I am not now proud of those priorities, I thought I was doing my best with all the work and family commitments I had. Tom Mills and Kerry conspired to work on me. I told Mills that I could break my workaholic tendencies if I could get extracted from the ICBEMP and away from my other assignments for a period. While we disagreed about how long that period was, we did not disagree on the need. Mills and I settled on an executive training detail to Australia. I pressed for one year, Mills said two months. I said six months, Mills said three months. Eventually we settled on four and one half months.
Kerry and I arranged an exchange. We would live in Queensland Department of Natural Resources science team leader’s home and I would work in his office and vice versa. Immediately following the 2000 Olympics in Sydney Australia, we settled in Brisbane. I didn’t have a key to the DNR buildings, so I had to leave when quitting time hit. I got home and Kerry was ready for a break so we would spend time together. I went through terrible withdrawals. I was working only 45 hours a week and not working on the weekends. Kerry and I traveled much of Australia and New Zealand. It was six weeks before I could settle in and feel good about lazy nature. I was able to accomplish some significant pieces of work while in Australia, in spite of my much reduced hours. I rediscovered that time with my wife was really enjoyable. I discovered that Mills and Kerry were right – I did need to learn to walk as a non-workaholic. I again was learning to walk before I could run. Mills had brought back what Q&A had taught years earlier – priorities matter and balance is essential. I was out of balance and it took considerable effort to get me balanced again.
As time has marched on I have learned that one is constantly fighting the workaholic tendencies. I think I can understand at least some of the drive that an alcoholic has. I also suspect there are genetics involved in here somewhere. My tendencies toward excess are almost certainly linked with my Grandfather’s tendencies toward excess – I think I have mine under control, he never did.
Bottom Line – Succeeding in life requires simple and complex skills; learn the simple first and the complex will be much easier to master.