Going Separate Ways  

by Amy Blizzard

  "Oh, come on! Come on!" Shawn pleaded desperately to his laptop, oblivious to the horde of annoyed travelers in the bus station staring at him. "Bring up the file!"

I felt my cheeks burning from embarrassment as people passed by us, staring at him as he continued to panic and rant. “Any luck?” I asked meekly. 

“No, it’s still not working! But it’s got to work, Trish, this laptop is going to be holding my life together while I’m away at college. I’ll have assignments on this, and my e-mail to stay in touch with you and my family. With my new college schedule, I probably won’t have time to call.” 

I sighed, taking in the smell of the gasoline escaping from buses as they came and left the crowded station. Nervously, I picked at the loose threads sticking out of Shawn’s lettermen jacket. He had given it to me to remember him while we were apart, insisting he wouldn’t need a high school jacket on a college campus.

College.....I had heard so much about college from Shawn, I had started to consider failing my senior year to stay in high school and avoid putting myself in this hectic situation next year. 

“Shawn,” I whispered, leery of distracting him from his precious laptop, "want a soda?” I bit my lip anxiously and hoped he would leap at the opportunity. Ever since our first date, it had been a tradition to split sodas. 

He nodded miserably. “I guess. We can go sit at a table, that’ll give me a chance to figure out what’s wrong.”

“You seem excited to be leaving,” I commented as we shifted through the crowd.

“I am,” Shawn told me plainly. “I’m going to be starting my life, Trish, training to be a veterinarian. Nothing in high school could really prepare me for that.”

“Without high school, you can’t get into college,” I reminded him. 

“I know, Trish, but high school is in the past.”

It seemed like Shawn was ready to put his whole life before college in the past. Anything that happened before college, didn’t matter. Including me.

“Wow, long line,” Shawn whistled, taking a spot.

“Don’t worry about it,” I mumbled. “Why don’t we just go get a table?”

“Sounds good,” he agreed, leaving me behind as he took off. 

As I trailed behind, I noticed a couple our age cuddling in the corner, crying. It was the first time I had ever been jealous of someone in tears, but part of me was wishing that Shawn was that upset to leave me. But I began to wonder, how upset was I?

I had thought about it for weeks, but never really felt broken-hearted about it. Our 

relationship hadn’t been the same for months, anyway. I think Shawn had already left me behind long before he ever packed his bags.

“Shawn,” I whispered.

“What?” he asked, never taking his eyes off the laptop.

I slid his jacket onto the tabletop. “Take this." 

“I gave this to you,” he said, finally looking up at me. “You’ve been wearing it for two years...” He paused and sighed heavily as the realization seemed to sink in. “You want to break up, don’t you?”

“It’s for the best,” I replied. “We both know things aren’t the same. I don’t blame you for being so excited about college, and I’m happy for you, but I’m still in high school and I want to enjoy it.”

“I had been thinking about it, too,” Shawn admitted. “I just figured you didn’t want to break up.”

“There is a part of me that doesn't want to," I muttered sadly and sniffled. "After two years, it will seem really weird not to be meeting up with you for a date. But we both know things have to change."

“I guess you’re right,” he agreed. “So this is goodbye?”

“No, more like good luck. There’s no reason why we can’t be friends, right? Even if you are going away.”

“Of course we can be friends. And I am sorry for the way I acted, I didn’t mean to snub you. Have I been too selfish to get a hug before I leave?”

“No,” I whispered, wrapping my arms around him. Feeling his strong arms holding me again, I nearly regretted voicing my desire to break-up. I was so eager to get rid of the bad things in our relationship, I had forgotten about the good ones. I could have stood there forever, just the two of us hugging, without the separation of college and high school changing our lives. But all too soon, Shawn’s departure was announced over the intercom. 

“You better get going,” I told him, gently pulling away. “Have a safe trip.”

“Have a great senior year,” he replied. 

As Shawn walked away in one direction and I walked away in the other, even though it hurt, I knew we were both going the right way.