Billy Logan's Wild Ride

The Logan family of Parkford Drive was a family of seven children and I remember all of them, from Ed Jr., who was the eldest and older than me by four years, to Billy and Becky the two year old twins. The Logan’s antics kept everyone on our block in stitches, if not a little wary. Annie Logan and I were twelve years old the summer of Billy Logan’s wild ride and it’s a red later day in my memory.

On that day in early June we were all just beginning to stir, the Logan household and me. I’d been allowed to spend the night with my best friend Annie Logan and we were looking forward to spending the day at the local swimming pool. Mrs. Logan was just putting breakfast on the table as Ed Jr, made a mad dash down the stairs only slightly ahead of his six younger siblings. I trailed somewhat behind, not wanting to get caught in the stampede. We all arrived at the table as the front door was heard softly closing-Mr. Logan tiptoeing out to another long day at the office.

Annie and I gulped down our biscuits and bacon with large swigs of Tang and tried to keep back the excitement we were feeling. It would be our first day at the pool and we

couldn’t wait to immerse ourselves in that cool blue water. It was the first day of an action packed summer of picnics, parties and long days in the hot Texas sun and we were determined to have a tan to be proud of by the time we walked the halls of Schermerhhorn High.

“What time are you and Annie leaving for the pool?” Mrs. Logan asked.

“Around 9 o’clock.”

“Good. You’ll have time to get the laundry done.”

Annie and I exchanged looks of dread; both of us hoping our anticipated meeting with Patty and Jill was not in danger.

“Suzie, I want you and Mary to pick up your room and vacuum the upstairs.”

“Jeannie and Eddie, start on the back porch, get it swept and straightened up for me.”

She handed the box of Froot Loops to the twins Billy and Becky, who were banging their spoons on their high chairs in earnest, and jotted down a few more things on her to- do list.

“The twins have a doctors’ appointment at 10 o’clock; I should be home around noon-in time to get lunch ready.”

Mrs. Logan ticked off these instructions as she took a package of hot dogs out of the freezer to thaw.

As Billy was just swallowing the last mouthful of Froot Loops, Annie and I piled plates and cups into the sink and headed for the laundry room where an ever-growing pile of blue jeans and t-shirts were waiting.

“We’ll never get to the pool,” we groaned in unison.

We began tossing t-shirts one way and blue jeans another; by noon I was just putting the last load in the dryer and Annie was racing up the stairs for our suits and towels as Mrs. Logan came in the back door, a twin in each arm. She set them down and as soon as their little feet hit the floor they were off to create chaos and confusion.

“Suzie, come downstairs and keep an eye on the twins while I start lunch,” she yelled upstairs, as Annie and I slammed the front door behind us; our only thought was of that cool blue water. Maybe if we’d stayed just a little longer, Billy wouldn’t have-but no, we couldn’t have changed anything.

Lunch was finished and the twins were down for a nap. Mary and Suzie were outside, Jeannie was in her room putting on makeup, and Ed Jr. had vacated the premises in favor of loitering at the local Dairy Queen. All of a sudden silence engulfed the house. Mrs. Logan sat down on the couch, propped her feet up and promptly fell asleep.

When she awoke, the shadows in the den were long and her first thought was that she needed to get dinner started; soon the house would be full of hungry kids. Things were so quiet that she didn’t even bother to check on the twins, they’d no doubt be waking up soon. But the twins were already awake. How they had gotten down the stairs and out the front door so quietly, much less how they managed to get into the front seat of the big green Esquire Station Wagon was anyone’s guess. And many did, given that the Logan’s had always been known for adventure.

Once in the front seat with Becky beside him, Billy managed to get the gear shift into reverse and the wild ride of Billy and Becky Logan began. The station wagon started a slow descent; tailgate first, from the Logan driveway. It’s not known if Billy steered or not, but somehow the station wagon righted itself, and headlights pointing straight ahead, commenced its tour through the neighborhood, as if in collusion with the young schemers.

They sailed past the Smith house where Cindy and James splashed in the sprinkler and Mrs. Smith could be seen in the kitchen window washing dishes. Billy, standing in the front seat clad only in a diaper, his little hands gripping the steering wheel to steady his chubby self, must have been a sight to see.

“I saw the station wagon go by and it looked like Billy in the front seat, but I thought, surely not…” Mrs. Smith said later.

The windows were rolled down and I’m sure the wind blew Billy’s long blonde curls in his eyes, causing him to miss the stop sign at the end of the street; lucky for them there was not another car in sight on that breezy June day. Becky sat close to Billy; she was wide-eyed and innocent, his silent partner and oblivious to all danger.

Onward the Esquire traveled, past the Brennan’s lemonade stand where children who knew the Logan’s stared in wonder at the youngest as he flew by, apparently in complete

control of the family car. Things were going quite well as Billy sailed down the street Evil Kneivel style and mindless to all danger. And then came the plunge. Straight ahead and no stopping it, Billy and Becky were headed for the bottom of the hill and as the tailgate disappeared form view, centrifugal force must have pushed his little body against the steering wheel causing it to turn just enough to the right to put the Esquire squarely in the McCoy’s front yard and through the wall of their newly decorated dining room.

The crash was a deafening one as bricks and plate glass shattered with what seemed like ten megaton force. Immediately, front doors flew open as housewives and kids spilled out onto the lawns and street. The station wagon came to an abrupt halt nose first and twelve inches from the McCoy dining room table, back tires hovering and spinning perilously close to Mrs. McCoy’s blue hydrangeas. Billy and Becky looked around in wonderment and satisfaction at the crowd that had gathered. The local ladies had already arrived and were shaking their heads as they scooped up the twins and headed for the Logan house. Mrs. Logan had discovered the twins missing and was in frantic search mode by this time.

When she saw the crowd coming she ran to greet them and heard the entire horrifying tale recounted in bits and pieces by adults and children alike. Both twins had bruised foreheads and both were in need of a good dusting off, but neither had shed a tear and clearly didn’t understand what the big ruckus was all about. Billy’s only response was, as he pointed in the Esquire’s direction, “Bear! Bear!” Becky nodded knowingly.

The whole incident had only taken about half an hour, but we heard it retold at least a dozen times that day after we got home from the pool. Hearing it retold, we were both thinking the same thing-that we’d missed the signature event of the entire summer.